Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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