"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
