He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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