before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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