these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
