He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
