They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
why is half of my head shaved?
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