my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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