i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
