i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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