yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
