After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
