Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
