Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
