My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
