the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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