This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
