He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My balls are so social today.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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