Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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