My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize