lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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