have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
