he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize