Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
