yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
