So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
