tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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