thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
