I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
