can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
