so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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