I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
