she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
