My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
