i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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