Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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