i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
