This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
