How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
