I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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