ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
