why didn't you poke me back
Me. At least after what I've been through.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
