I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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