I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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