5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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