I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
