Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
3 2 1 whiskey
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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