we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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