Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
