so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize