Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
