I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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