Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
