WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
