Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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