You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
