The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
