i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
