Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Rumble strips road head = magical
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
