JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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