I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
