you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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