at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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