I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
