Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
