To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize