i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
