It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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