Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
