Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize